Junk Fantasy
by Memoria Ran-Chan Aurion
Summary: The weird version of FF1, curtesy of me! First ficcy. Flames will be used for a notable cause! ! Garland is a what? The Charas can talk? Wow! RR, even if you hate it!


Final Fantasy/Anime Junkie's First Fan Fiction:  
  
Junk Fantasy 1  
  
Disclaimer: I do not in any way shape or form own Final Fantasy or any of the classes or charas. I do, however, own Randi for she is me. That's my name. James and Scott are close guy friends, and Brent is my boyfriend, I do not own them.  
  
Chapter One: "We. do?"  
  
On an open plain on the middle of an island, four heroes stood. each a different class and a different name. Randi, the Red Mage; Brent, the Black mage, Scott, the Theif, and James, the Monk; had all appeared somehow. They didn't know how or why. In fact, they didn't really care. The four heroes (being led by the Red Mage) had ended up on the island somehow, not even knowing how they did!  
"Where in hell are we?" James asked, looking around to see the landscape. There was a tall castle in the distance.  
"On an island, near a dock," Brent replied. "But that dock has no ship. and there looks as if there is no other way to leave the island." He tried to figure it out, but it was too much for his brilliant mind to handle.  
Randi pointed to the nearby town. "Hey, let's go over to that town. Maybe they'll have a clue as to what's going on here?"  
Together the party made its way to the town without encounters from any monsters, which was basic luck because they didn't know much about fighting yet. There were many places in the town, including magic, armor, and weapon shops, plus a sanctuary.  
A woman smiled nicely. "This is Corneria, the city of Dreams."  
Randi grunted to herself. "It is NOT!"  
A man in armor came running up to the group. "Ah! The King searches for the Light Warriors! .wait. four warriors. with crystals. YOU MUST BE THEM!"  
"That's what I call a fanatic," Scott laughed.  
"But you have. crystals! I see them!"  
Everyone looked at themselves and found that it was true. Each of them had a crystal that did not shine at all.  
"Wow." Randi said. "We have crystals."  
"YES YOU DO NOW GO SEE THE KING!!" With that said, the four Light Warriors were drug into the Castle Throne room to see a fat grubby man wearing a crown.  
The king said, "Oh! My, it's the Light Warriors! You must save my daughter Princess Sarah! Garland, one of my advisors, took her!" He sounded worried, but Scott crossed his arms.  
"You just can't hire good advice nowadays." Scott said with a laugh.  
An advisor in the room looked the party over. "Sire, how exactly can they be the Light Warriors when there is a BLACK MAGE in their party? And a Theif!"  
Brent became irritated. "I may be a Black Mage. but wait. are you Christian?"  
"Yes," the advisor replied.  
"I see, that's your problem. Its because of those commandments and all. all right, look. I carry a crystal not a cross burning." Brent explained. "See, Scott here may be a thief but he don't steal. He just has real good luck and agility. He should have been a warrior so we would have gotten HP and attack strength, but. besides the point. I won't kill you there are better monsters to fry."  
The King nodded. "Yes, you are the light warriors! Rescue my daughter you pathe- I mean, precious human mortals." He shoved them out of the room. "Ah ha! They will do my work for me. wonderful prophecy Lukin, your reward will come soon! MUHAHAHAHAHAHA!"  
While walking out of the castle, Randi stopped the group. "Ah, no. I do NOT want to rescue a woman, guys. Not for you to ogle at her. That Prince she might be engaged to might be my ticket to life in luxury." She laughed. "I want at least a reward for rescuing her."  
"YEAH!" Scott proclaimed. "I want one too."  
So, they stuck their heads inside the door to catch ole Kingy's attention.  
The King gasped. "What? What do you want now?"  
"We won't rescue your damn princess unless you give us a reward!" Randi explained the team's POV.  
The advisor gawked. "What? You're freaking Light Warriors! You're supposed to do stuff for the good of everybody!"  
"We. do?" Scott asked. "NO WE DON'T! We may be heroes and all that, but we are still human."  
Suddenly the King's eyes turned red. "HUMANS shall DIE." then he became nice again, ".of pain if Garland rapes Sarah like he has planned."  
"AHHHH!" Randi screamed. "He's not a monster he's a rapist!!"  
The King gasped again. "What?! THE RED MAGE IS A GIRL!!"  
"Yeah," Randi said. "Now we HAVE to kill Garland for the protection of the pure and innocent little girl!" She stood in a heroic pose all of a sudden, mystifying the group for just a couple seconds. ".but I still want a reward!"  
The advisor pulled out a list. "This is what we have to offer," he said. The list was about 200 pages long and included everything from immortality to cookies.  
"Chocolate Chip Cookies!"  
"Peanut butter Ice Cream!"  
".Free Level 8 spells!"  
".and a bridge."  
The king nodded, even with a sad look on his face. "Sorry I ate all the cookies the ice cream got melted and the spells are all the way in Onlak, but I can have a bridge built!"  
Randi growled. "And I'm still hungry!"  
The king then smiled. "I will make more cookies for you while you go and rescue Sarah from Garland! Remember, if she's no longer a virgin, then you shall never get your cookies! I will make a bridge either way."  
"Okay!" The group left with smiles on their faces. They were just about to go and cream the rapist Garland to save an innocent princess and will get cookies for it. Just no one remembered the bridge!  
  
**  
  
FFAJ: So how'd I do for my first chappy? If you don't like it I'm sorry just give me flames I want them to give Brent fire spells! MUAHAHAHAHA! Anyway, I hope you DID like it b/c if you remember Bikke the pirate and Bahumut the promoting dragon, I hope you want to meet them! 


End file.
